Wendy Penn always enjoyed "helping people help themselves." But at only 40 years old, mother of a six-year-old and nine-year-old, that suddenly became a lot harder when she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer in April 2015.
It started as sporadic abdominal pain. She had brought it up to her nurse practitioner during her yearly check-up, who told her to keep a food log. Wendy chalked it up to aging: “I had it in my head that when you turned 40, you just kind of fell apart.”
The pain started to get worse. At times, it was so bad that she curled up in the fetal position. Looking back, she remembers how fatigue set in and how she started chewing ice — a habit she didn't have before. The symptoms didn't seem connected at first, and her bowel movements seemed normal.
Around the same time, she had seen some friends on Facebook posting about a young woman named Stephanie Lee, who had passed away from colon cancer. Something about Stephanie's story — and seeing people she knew from different chapters of her life posting about Stephanie's death — made Wendy think: I should contact a doctor.
And she did. A gastroenterologist sent her for blood work, which showed Wendy's hemoglobin was dangerously low. The doctor ordered a blood transfusion, and just a couple of days later, Wendy went in for a colonoscopy and endoscopy. A biopsy confirmed: stage IV colon cancer.
I sat down with Wendy, now 51 years old and ten years cancer-free, who shared the following in an interview:
You trusted your gut feeling. Sure, the symptoms might have seemed disjointed at the time. But you decided to see a specialist. What pushed you to take that step?
You know, really finally listening to that voice in my head. In some ways, I wish I'd listened sooner. But I also think about the story that I'm now able to tell. If I had gone earlier when I first started feeling the pain, it would have been very different. I probably still would have had to have surgery to remove the tumor in my colon, but it wouldn't have progressed to stage IV and spread to my liver. People are definitely shocked when I tell them that I had stage IV colon cancer at 40 and that it progressed the way that it did. But maybe that will make people pay more attention. You know, I went months having these symptoms. At some point, I was like, well, maybe it's stress. The one thing I've learned is that stress might make something worse, but it's not the cause of it. I probably could have had an easier road if I had just listened. But it was, I guess, really just finally listening to that voice that something wasn't right that pushed me to take that step.
You had a six-year-old and a nine-year-old at that time, and so how did you approach talking with your children about your diagnosis?
There was a great social worker at the school where they were. She told us, "don't try to give them too many details because they're not going to understand it, but let them know you're sick, that there would be days you wouldn't have as much energy to play, that you're being taken care of, and that just because you're sick doesn't mean they would get sick." So, my husband and I, we set them down, and I said, "I'm going to share something, and I'm going to cry, but it's okay, you know, I'm okay, but it just is emotional for me." And I said, "Have you heard of something called cancer?" And they were both kind of like, "Maybe." And I said, "Well, I have that. " It was really helpful to have the guidance from the social worker. I wouldn't have known what to say. I would have been so focused on not scaring them that I might not have given enough information to reassure them.
I know that treatment for you meant many, many rounds of chemotherapy and constant appointments. What was that process like during that time? What helped you stay strong? Was it the people around you? Was it something within yourself?
All of the above. With the exception, I think of one appointment, someone was there with me. You know, great friends, my husband, people would come and sit with me on the days that I had treatment. A lot of friends and family, you know, brought us meals, helped to take care of my husband and kids, because our children were young enough that they still really needed a lot. A trick that I learned, actually, is to write a list of things and put it on the refrigerator of things that need to be done. Like, take out the trash, start a load of clothes, so that when people come over and say, "Oh, what can I do to help?" you just have a list!
So what helped me stay strong was the people, and my faith. I am a Christian, and I pray a lot. I always believed that I could be healed. I also recognized that I might not. That's just the reality. So I tried to more focus on what I am supposed to get out of this journey. Sometimes I think we rush people to that when they are facing a challenge to say, "there's a blessing in here, there's a lesson there, God never puts more on you than you can handle." In that moment, that's sometimes hard to hear, hard to see. And I will say I did not see that immediately, but I can look at it now and say, I do have a testimony. This is what happened to me. It might be different for other people; it might've been different had I acted differently. But the reality is that I did let it linger, that it did it to the point where I had to have 12 rounds of chemotherapy and 80% of my liver removed and I don't know how many stitches, but that is a very powerful testimony as well: even if you don't listen the first time, even if you don't heed that voice in your head, it doesn't mean that you can't make it through. So I try to look at it in that way. Maybe my testimony will be the thing that helps someone else take a step a little sooner.
You’ve been cancer-free since January 2016! Now that you’re in survivorship, how do you take care of your health and well-being? Are there things like yoga, movement, or other lifestyle habits that help you stay connected to your body? How does the Wellness Center support this?
I am aware that some things are genetic, some things are hereditary, and some things we can help through lifestyle choices. And so I try to balance the two. I make sure I get the annual appointments that I am supposed to, and follow the guidance from my gastroenterologist and my oncologist. I don't even know how many colonoscopies I've had at this point, probably half a dozen.
Sometimes my efforts for movement and exercise are a little more sporadic than consistent, but I try to keep that in perspective and do things based on what feels good at the time. As it starts to get warmer, I walk more outside; when the weather is not as conducive, I literally dust off my bike at home. Sometimes I'll use YouTube for free workouts or subscribe to an app. So I don't necessarily do the same thing or haven't done the same thing over the past 10 or 11 years, but I listen to what works for me at the moment. I try to just take advantage of what is convenient, because sometimes that's one of the easiest excuses. It's not convenient. So, find the thing that works for me at the time, and as much as I can be consistent. And when I become inconsistent, I realize that something isn't working and then try to find the thing that does work at the time. I heard about the Wellness Center through a flyer at Giant Foods. I could walk to it — it's less than a mile away! It has been a really cool amenity for this area that I am appreciative of and plan to take advantage of.
For someone who might feel like something in their body isn’t quite right, but isn’t sure whether to speak up — what would you say to encourage them to trust themselves and get checked out?
It is so easy to brush it off, maybe think it's stress. But if you start to feel something, literally make note of it. Jot down a note in your phone to notice whether something is triggering it. Get as much information as you can to see the pattern for yourself and communicate to a doctor: I experienced this on this day, it lasted this long, and this is what I felt. Because sometimes there might be a medical professional who is dismissive for whatever reason, but sometimes there's just not enough information for them to help you. Even for my check-ups now, I keep track of symptoms and pain when it arises. It makes me feel more confident going in to have conversations with my provider, and I've seen how it helps her narrow in pretty quickly on what the cause is.
Lastly, take someone with you when you go to the doctor. Sometimes you walk into the exam room, and you might feel flustered or intimidated. But someone else can provide you comfort just sitting there beside you, and it can help you listen more clearly. They can also listen, speak up, and ask questions. In those early appointments, having my husband there with me to listen was helpful. And then when he wasn't available, I had a really good friend go with me to listen and to ask questions. And you will just feel less alone, which is helpful. Bring a loved one. They're there for you. And great to lean on as well.
